“I’ve given up on Black Women.”
Those words are responsible for me losing 3 nights of sleep this week. Sadly, they were uttered from a man who looked very similar to me. Despite the fact that I was ease dropping and only overheard fragments of a conversation I wasn’t apart of and easily could’ve taken his words out of context, I vehemently disagree and in NO way believe in, subscribe to or share his sentiments. In fact, hearing this, disgusted me and raised my blood pressure higher than it should be! But it also caused me to ponder a much deeper question I want to ask you…
“Have you ever had a man tell you he loves you without wanting anything from you?”
Aside from your father, brother or immediate family… has it ever happened for you? I’m pretty certain I can guess your answer. Professionally, I’ve touched the lives of 1000’s through coaching, counseling, live events, radio or television and the response to this question seems to be the same… Whenever I pose that question to a room full of women, the individual responses start with a puzzled look of uncertainty that reluctantly morphs into slouched shoulders and then a shameful smirk that evolves into a look of disappointment after noticing the lack of raised hands in the room.
Well today I’m telling you, “I love you.” No attachments, no hidden agenda, no games or gimmicks. I say this as a Black Man loving his sister because I’m concerned.
As a Black Woman you have been ridiculed, marginalized, manipulated, demoralized, dismissed, unappreciated, disrespected, objectified and disappointed in too many ways.
The truth is, you’re beautiful; inside and out.
Though the world may criticize, judge, laugh, lust after or ridicule your worth, today I’m lifting you up because we can’t stand to lose ANYmore sisters to the minutia of marketing madness trying to minimize your value and worth.
Even though I say this, I wonder how much propaganda has subconsciously polluted your perspective of who you are and the capacity you have to be loved; more importantly the capacity to even love yourself. As a man, it pains me to see how you’re being disrespected by and depicted to the rest of the world; especially on television. Let television and social media tell it… the constant bickering, backstabbing, betrayals and fighting has become the blueprint and definition of how a black woman acts and attracts what she wants. It’s a subliminal message that is not true and has to stop… we must do better.
Too many women have found themselves morally bankrupt suffering from spiritual malnutrition and a crisis of identity and intimacy because of our irresponsibility as Men to stand up, protect, defend and fight for you… Too many men have found comfort in treating you as a sidechick or have sat on the sidelines watching your demise because they’re emotionally impotent, intellectually immature, selfish, afraid and unsure of how to come to your defense. But I love you enough to fight for you because I see you. I see your frustration, your disappointment, pain, hurt, struggle, your grind, your love and your tireless support for boys posing as men who sometimes don’t do the same for you. I see your hope slowly drifting away. I see you for who God says you are and who He says you CAN be!
I see you because I love you, I believe in you and I’m man enough to say I will fight for you… and there are other real men who believe and are doing the same.
So I say this in love… whatever you do, continue being an example and setting the standard of excellence. Keep pushing forward, flawless and shining with Queenly qualities. Our daughters, sisters, nieces and little cousins are watching. Little Girls need you to show them how to be Grown Women. Responsible, intellectual, loving, nurturing, resilient, beautiful, uniquely vibrant and unafraid of your God given brilliance!
Remember that no matter what the world says, other races say, the media says… even what some of us as sometimes misguided, immature Men irresponsibly say… Please know I confidently speak for every Real Man who’s been privileged to be your son, brother, boyfriend, husband, father or friend…
YOU. ARE. AMAZING.
and we will never give up on you!
Real Men see you… We love you… We believe in you, we NEED you and we will always be here to stand up, protect, defend and fight for you. We’ll never give up on Black Women…
Jack A. Daniels
P.S. To every skeptical critic reading this, rolling your eyes with your lips curled up because you’re ready to fire back with a projection of your own experiences, disappointments, insecurities, self-worth and hurt…Don’t bother. You don’t have to believe my Words… just watch and hold me accountable for the Work I do to stay true to my words! I can show you better than I can tell you.