I met this girl at a party one night. We chatted maybe 6 minutes before she decided to give me her number to continue the conversation. When my homeboy and I left the party, I received a text message from her saying, “Y u leave w/out me?” Now I really wasn’t interested in her so I kind of ignored her. Her next text read, “N town 4 2nite only…u can’t hang?” By this time, my homeboy was convinced I could probably say anything to this woman to close the deal for the night. Again, I wasn’t interested in even entertaining her. He then takes my phone and began texting the foulest, freakiest messages you could imagine. To my surprise, she kept responding! Not only did she respond, but she was ready, willing and available to back up what she was texting! Of course, I wasn’t shocked about her willingness to drop it like it was hot, I was more shocked that I only had a 6 minute face to face conversation with this woman and my homeboy closed the deal via text messaging?! My homeboy’s reaction was, “Works every time, I’m a pro at this.”
Of course nothing happened and I know you are thinking, “she had to be some little young girl so that was acceptable behavior.” I wish I could appease you, but this woman was 36 years old!
Times have changed.
We live in a society that has become accustomed to instantaneous information and gratification. This dilemma has subsequently sabotaged our cycle of social interactions with one another. We used to hand write letters, now we send emails. Now its Facebook pages versus photo albums, fastfood versus home cooking, the internet versus the library. We all used to be able to spell really good until text messaging with auto-correct hit the scene!
Don’t get me wrong, technology is great, but the dichotomy that keeps us so connected in many ways is driving us further apart. Several advances have been beneficial to our society as a result of technological innovations, but fellas, don’t let technology negate the responsibility of being rational, righteous and realistic in your approach towards women.
It’s easy to misinterpret someone’s intentions when you don’t spend quality time talking to, listening to and getting to know that person respectively. We’ve become so accustomed to the convenience of getting what we want faster than it should come that it’s easy to lose touch with the traditional elements that foster the growth and development of healthy lasting relationships. Sending emails and text messages leaves our conversations shallow and impersonal. Hiding behind technology and voicing ourselves virtually over inflates our egos and gives us the audacity to say things we probably wouldn’t normally say in person. As men we already struggle with communicating effectively and we shouldn’t settle for opening ourselves up to more opportunities for misinterpretations.
Trust me, I get it. It’s a lot easier to text than talk to women sometimes, but it’s our duty to be courageous and MAN enough to not take the easy ways out. Relationships are fizzling because we’re failing to follow the fundamentals necessary for fostering solid foundations of friendship. However convenient it may be, you’ll never truthfully know anyone from an online profile or personality. God created her smile for you to see it, her voice to hear, her hair to smell and that pretty brown round to hopefully touch every now and then!
It’s time for us to step up as men and start doing what’s necessary to not be so disconnected from our innate ability to connect to women.
5 Ways to Connect Better:
- Hand write a love letter or buy a card; don’t send an email.
- If you must text, send cute messages throughout the day vs. trying to have an entire conversations
- If you wanna know how she’s doing, pick up the phone and CALL HER; don’t ask via text.
- Let her see you face via video connections (facetime, skype, etc.)
- Stop texting so much and start talking MORE!
Chivalry and romance ain’t dead! Learn to revitalize, reposition and reconnect to what makes women so beautiful and worth connecting to. As easy as it might be to close a few deals through technology without any work these days, is it really worth having if it results in empty meaningless relationships? Ok, some of you would say yes, but I challenge you to be Man enough to not take the easy way out. Do the work and start turning off the technology and get back to turning on our women the way they deserve.
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“Keep the faith, keep making it happen and remember to stay out of your own way!”