You know it’s over and there’s no way you can reconcile this relationship.  It’s time to walk away and move on, but you hesitate because you know you’ve invested so much time, energy, effort and money into making it work.

  • 11 months
  • a trip to the Bahamas
  • about 3 meals a week
  • 8 outfits
  • numerous movie tickets
  • a couple of car payments
  • an Iphone
  • countless boxes of condoms, cell phone overages AND an $8,000 engagement ring!

and she wants to flip out on you now!?

All of a sudden she doesn’t feel like you’re right for each other and you don’t excite her like her ex-boyfriend did.  She doesn’t love you like you love her and thinks you should see other people.  To add insult to injury, she says she’s been feeling this way for awhile now, but didn’t know how to tell you. “What!”  So now you’re left stuck wondering why she couldn’t tell you all this 8 months agobefore you spent all the money for your new bike on her unappreciative assets! (whew)

We’ve all been here at some point in our life right?  Relationships are subject to some degree of drama otherwise how would you know if what you were doing was legit enough to continue?  But some women take it too far once we’ve gotten ourselves in too deep.  Wouldn’t it be nice if you could pick her up, give her a trial run to see if you like her and if it doesn’t work out to your standards you could send her back and get a full refund for everything you spent during the trial period with no strings attached?

Let’s call it a relationship refund 

A contract declaring that men may request a partial or full refund of energy, efforts and income spent if they are dissatisfied with the results of the relationship for any reason.

Sounds good I know, but unfortunately it’s FAR from reality!

Let’s face it, Men got the short end of the stick when it comes to dating.  We’re expected to wine, dine and show women good times while not really knowing what we’re going to get out of the deal.  Sure, if you do your background checks appropriately you can weed through some of the nonsense, but it’s those unexpected glitches in the matrix you can’t plan for.  Who knew she still had feelings for her baby’s daddy or that her mama would be trying to run your house.  Who knew she’d stop dropping it like it’s hot once she got the ring, she was so insecure, shallow, spoiled, couldn’t lose weight fast, was bipolar, didn’t want to work, couldn’t cook, hated your mama or didn’t like you hanging out with the fellas every now and then! 

“This woman is crazy and you mean I have to live with this?!”

Yep!  The reality is we have to be accountable and live with the choices we make.  Women are complicated and relationships are hard work that require you to take chances on a person’s potential and possibility to live up to your expectations of optimism.  The idea is to not allow yourself to get in too deep before you find yourself plotting your escape from an investment gone wrong.  If you don’t do the due diligence of building solid foundations of friendship first, you’ll be trying to cash more relationship refund checks than you can afford leaving yourself morally, emotionally and possibly financially bankrupt in the end!

Too many of us tend to jump into relationships without fully outlining or discussing our levels of expectation.  It’s unfortunate we wind up suffering repercussions of relationships gone wrong, but that’s life.  Keep trusting God to give you the discernment to distinguish who’s for you or not for you.  Your energy, efforts and money are important and don’t need to be wasted by the uncertainty and instability of flawed relationships.

3 Ways to Not Go Broke or Get Broken from Dating:

  1. Be honest with yourself.  Look at the situation for what it is and not what you hope for it to be.
  2. Be courageous enough to cut if off when you know it’s not working.
  3. Be friends with the person you’re dating before you get in too deep!

If you could collect a relationship refund I’d say don’t worry about it, but since you can’t, be careful and do the work necessary to build a  solid foundation of friendship.  Dating isn’t cheap and neither is your time, energy or efforts.  Be cautious so you won’t find yourself trying to figure out how to recoup some of your losses and standing at the mailbox waiting for that relationship refund check!



Jack A. Daniels, also known as The King of Breakthroughs is a psychotherapist, media personality, award-winning speaker and 5 time best-selling author of books such as, “I Need a Wife…Where are the REAL Women?” and “Stay Out of Your Own Way.” He's one of the leading authorities for overcoming fears and getting people unstuck in love, relationships, business or life. Jack is a Master Storytelling Expert who helps beginning & established Speakers find their personal story and get PAID to speak. Jack has been featured on BBC, Fox News, Bravo, BET, CBS, NBC, ABC, WEtv, Cosmopolitan, Esquire, DateDaily and you can watch him every week on the FYI channel as the host of #BlackLove!

Copyright Pressing Pause, LLC | Jack A. Daniels 2015